Yes, Black Kids Can Have Nice Things and Still Be Grounded [OP-ED]
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Every season of childhood joy comes with a side of policing when it comes to Black kids. In the summer, families post photos from cruises or expensive theme park trips, and instead of celebrating, people jump to judgment—as if leisure and learning can’t exist in the same household.
By back-to-school season, the pattern continues. A boy shows up with a Sprayground bookbag or fresh sneakers, and the whispers begin: “Does he even care about his grades?” The assumption is that style cancels out focus, that abundance automatically erases discipline.
Come Christmas, little girls in holiday dresses or pajamas post videos singing or doing a viral dance, and almost on cue, the comments flood in: “I hope she knows her ABCs.”
And it won’t stop there. Soon it will be prom season, then graduation, and the same tired script will play out again. Every milestone, every celebration, every expression of joy becomes an opportunity for people to question whether Black children have “earned” it.
What these critiques reveal is not genuine concern but a cultural reflex—one that assumes the Venn diagram of joy, abundance, and underachievement is always overlapping when it comes to Black kids. It’s a script designed to shrink them before they even get the chance to shine.
This isn’t just harmless commentary. It’s a cultural script designed to shrink Black children before they even get the chance to shine. Other children are free to exist in softness and play without explanation. Ours are told they must overperform—straight-A students, perfectly behaved, endlessly resilient—before they can deserve what should be the birthright of all children: joy, leisure, style, and freedom.
As Black women—mothers, aunties, teachers, caregivers—we know how damaging that script is. We also know it’s not new. Many of us were raised with the “twice as good” standard, told that survival and sacrifice were the only ways to prepare for the world. However, survival isn’t the ceiling we’re passing down. Today’s Black millennial moms are pushing back, raising children who are grounded and abundant, teaching that joy is not conditional but necessary.While this pattern plays out everywhere, it takes on a particularly resonant quality in the D.C.metropolitan area—the DMV—where Black abundance, power, and culture have been shaping generations.
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The DMV as a Hub for Black Abundance and Grounding
The DMV is where the nation’s capital meets Maryland suburbs and Northern Virginia neighborhoods, tied together by shared transit lines, work commutes, and overlapping cultural identities.
The DMV is also home to some of the most affluent and culturally rooted communities in the country. Charles County, Maryland is currently the wealthiest majority-Black county in the nation, just a stone’s throw from its predecessor, Prince George’s County. They’re joined by Howard County, which has the highest median household income in Maryland and was ranked the sixth-wealthiest county in the nation in early 2025, according to U.S. News & World Report.
In this region, Black abundance is visible—and so are the tensions it brings. Parents who are part of this demographic can find themselves navigating questions about how to raise children with access to the finer things while keeping them grounded, grateful, and resilient. Is privilege a risk? Does it breed entitlement, or is it a necessary corrective to generations of deprivation and struggle?
Credit: Iris Mannings
Founded in 2016 by Simona Noce Wright and Nikki Osei-Barrett, District Motherhued has grown from a gathering of 25 women into a community of more than 45,000 Black mothers nationwide. Their flagship event, The Momference, is the first national conference created specifically for millennial moms of color. Their NICU Kit Program and award-winning 4th Trimester initiative have provided hands-on support to thousands of families. In 2021, they launched the District Motherhued Society (DMS)—a membership-based platform for mothers deeply committed to supporting one another in wellness, philanthropy, financial growth, and healthy parenting strategies.
DMS is where these conversations about joy, privilege, and grounding unfold daily. Three mothers from this community—Latisha M. Roberson-Marke, Noémie V. Gaines, and Lauren Anderson—shared with MadameNoire exactly how they are raising their children in abundance without apology.
The post Abundance Is Our Birthright: Black Children Shouldn’t Have To Earn Their Joy [Op-Ed] appeared first on MadameNoire.
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