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Source: Photo of Comedian Luenell and Al B. Sure! via instagram / Instagram

When Luenell and Al B. Sure! popped out with their relationship, the internet did what it does best—got loud, got rude, and got real comfortable policing something that did not ask for its approval.

The jokes came fast. The think pieces came faster.

Age.

Size.

Looks.

Desirability.

Respectability.

Everything weaponized, as if two grown folks did not know exactly what they were doing, who they were doing it with, or why they were doing it.

RELATED CONTENT: Tracee Ellis Ross’ Topless Selfie Exposes The Selective Outrage, Misogyny, And Ageism That Plagues Black Women

To be clear, this is not about a huge age gap. Nine years is barely a blink when you are over 50. This is about ageism dressed up as concern. Body shaming disguised as humor. Luenell is 66, and Al B. Sure! is 57; it is not even controversial. It is not an Epstein file. Unless you have been conditioned to believe women expire, we lack desirability because of size, and love only counts when it is visually approved by strangers equipped with lagging Wi-Fi and audacity, of course, because if the trolls have nothing else, they have THEE AUDACITY.

As a woman of a certain age—and by certain, Auntie is a proud 48-year-old who has never fit society’s narrow, tired-ass standards. And honestly, I never wanted to—I have a great amount of disdain for ignorance. I have never chosen a partner based on what the world thought looked good on my arm. I choose connection. I have always said, “My men are mid-ugly.” For those unfamiliar with hood vernacular, that means he is neither overly handsome nor a boogerwolf.

Comedian Lunell attends the launch of Rickey Smiley’s Hulu comedy special “Fool-ish” at Hollywood Improv on May 27, 2025, in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images)

Kindness. Emotional intelligence. The ability to show up consistently without needing a manual. Able to provide. Willing to be Alpha and allow me to exist softly. I mean the one whose attitude is solid, whose energy is high, and who knows how to make me feel feminine, sexy, safe, and loved. If you can do that? Baby, I can rock with you. Every time! Because pretty fades. Presence does not.

Love should be soul food, even if it does not look like eye candy. And while physical attraction is not the enemy of love, pretending it is the admission price is a scam we’ve all bought into. Chemistry has many layers. Our desire ever evolves. Our need for connections deepens. And that can never be measured by a mirror or a comment section. And here is the part folks really are not ready for: as Gen Xers, we are redefining what love looks like. More importantly, what it feels like.

We ain’t auditioning for romance. We want peace. Now, that is some sexy ish. Good sex, honest conversations, laughter that comes easily, and a partner who does not drain our spirit or attempt to leave us bitter or broken. We have lived enough life to know that looking good together means nothing if it feels bad. We understand through trial and error that struggle love is never pretty, even if the picture is painted that way.

The post The Problem Isn’t Luenell Dating Al B. Sure!—It’s Society’s Fear Of Unapologetically Curvy Black Women Over 60 Still Being Sexy And Desired [Op-Ed] appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Tags ageism al b sure beauty standards Black Body Shaming Curvy Dating Desired Fear Isnt Love luenell OpEd PROBLEM Relationship Sex Sexy Societys SureIts Unapologetically Women