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Should You Flirt At Work? Here’s How To Do It The Right Way, According To Experts



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Should you flirt with that cute man or woman at work? The question can be a hard one to answer, especially if you both are looking to climb the corporate ladder without letting your cheeky feelings impact your work progress. If you’re worried your flirty behavior may be grounds for an HR meeting, it’s important to look at the way you’re going about it, according to relationship experts Julia Stein and Marni Kinrys. 

It’s okay to flirt, but keep it friendly and playful, Marni Kinrys stressed.

According to these romance gurus, flirting at the workplace is fine. In fact, Marni mentioned in her 2017 video, How To Flirt At Work And Rules For Dating Co-Workers, that it’s perfectly fine to show a little interest in your cubicle crush, as it may help to “liven up” your daily work space.

“Most people spend more than 70% of their lives at work. So why not liven up that space by adding some flirting into the mix?” she said. 

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However, Marni stressed that there are levels of flirting, and in the workplace, your behavior should always remain “friendly, bantory, non-harassing, or oversexual.” She calls this dynamic “connection flirting,” which involves “teasing, being playful, sharing personal information” with strict “surface-level conversation.” She stressed that it’s important to “stay away from anything pertaining to a more sexual nature” when you’re playfully wooing your workplace crush. 

“The key thing that you want to remember is to stay away from being overly sexual, and if you do get sexual and that type of flirting is not welcomed, don’t continue to push it,” Marni Kinrys warned. “It’s a sign that it’s not welcomed and that it needs to stop immediately.”

Subtlety and professionalism are the key, according to Julia Stein.

Julia Stein, a Berlin-based sex consultant and relationship guru, echoed a similar sentiment during an interview with Vice published Oct. 26. She said you should always keep flirting subtle and professional at work. You can do this by playfully teasing your workplace crush with a smile or a small gesture, giving them room to respond naturally, but don’t push it.  

“Subtlety is your best friend,” Stein explained. “You’re showing interest, not performing a rom-com.” 

However, flirting at work is all about context, she noted. A casual comment over lunch might feel friendly, while the same remark in a meeting could come off as awkward. Pay attention to body language—are they tense? Checking their phone? That’s your cue to back off. And always remember to respect boundaries.

For example, if you’re flirting with a higher-up who is responsible for cutting your check or a supervisor who may have power over your next big promotion, Stein says you may want to lay off the flirting.

“No one should feel pressured to respond positively because of a power imbalance,” Stein stressed. Attraction doesn’t override professionalism.

Workplace romances are more common than you think.

Source: VioletaStoimenova / Getty

With that in mind, flirting—when done appropriately—can sometimes lead to genuine romance in the workplace. A study released on Sept. 15 by Zety found that office relationships are more common than many might think. Out of 1,000 U.S. employees surveyed, 79% admitted to having a long-term workplace romance, and 15% said they’ve had more than one. Nearly half (46%) said their most recent partner at work was a colleague or teammate, while 41% revealed their relationship was with a supervisor or manager.

The study also uncovered how often professional boundaries blur: 91% of respondents admitted to using flirting or charm to advance their careers or gain favoritism, and 69% said they had received inappropriate perks from workplace relationships. Among those who had romantic encounters with colleagues during work-related events or parties, 59% said it was a one-time thing, while 34% reported that it evolved into a more serious relationship. Interestingly, employees were nearly three times more likely to view serious relationships between superiors and subordinates (54%) as acceptable compared to one-night stands (18%). 

So if you’re thinking about flirting with that office hottie, go for it, but keep it subtle, professional, and respectful. Setting boundaries is key to keeping both you and your cubicle cutie out of trouble.

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The post Should You Flirt At Work? Here’s How To Do It The Right Way, According To Experts appeared first on MadameNoire.



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