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Thanksgiving in a Black household isn’t just a meal…it’s a cultural event, a family reunion, a comedy show, and a culinary Super Bowl wrapped into one. If you’re new to the experience (or just need a refresher), this guide will tell you everything you need to know to survive, thrive, and not embarrass yourself at the family function. Follow these rules and you’ll walk away full, happy, and with at least two plates wrapped in foil.

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WHAT TO WEAR. Come correct! Think comfortable but still photo-ready for thanksgiving. Sweats are acceptable only if they’re designer or paired with a fresh fade/twist-out. Absolutely no outside shoes in the house, and iron your clothes like somebody raised you right.

WHAT TO EAT. If it’s not seasoned like somebody’s elbow was in the pot, don’t touch it. Mac and cheese is sacred. One wrong ingredient (raisins, peas, Velveeta soup situation) and you’ll get dragged for generations. Stick to the classics: greens, dressing (not stuffing), candied yams, turkey, ham, cornbread, sweet potato pie (NOT PUMPKIN).

WHAT TO WATCH. Football will be on, whether people care or not. The TV will eventually switch to old Black sitcom reruns (Martin, Fresh Prince or something with Madea yelling at someone). Later in the evening, the aunties might turn on Lifetime or a church movie without asking anybody.

CONVERSATION DO’S & DON’TS. Do compliment the food at thanksgiving, ask about Granny’s health, and hype up little cousins’ accomplishments. Don’t ask when someone’s getting married, why they don’t have kids yet, or bring up politics unless you’re ready for a two-hour debate and someone threatening to go home. NEVER EVER mention store-bought potato salad unless you brought it on purpose to start drama. Lmao

Source: skynesher / Getty

WHO NOT TO INVITE. Anybody who “doesn’t eat pork,” “is on a cleanse,” or asks if the greens are gluten-free…eat at home. Folks who don’t know how to act around liquor, exes who still think they’re part of the family, and cousins who owe everybody money should stay where they at. And, if someone always leaves early with three plates…block them at the door.

FAMILY MEMBER HIERARCHY. Elders eat first at thanksgiving… no exceptions, no discussion. After that come the kids, then everybody else in a free-for-all, survival-of-the-fittest buffet line. The person who brought nothing but Tupperware and vibes eats last.

TO-GO PLATE ETIQUETTE. You do not make a plate before you’ve eat at thanksgiving. That is rookie behavior and will get you yelled at. You may take one plate to go (two if the family loves you more than everybody else). Foil, not plastic wrap. Don’t forget to tuck a slice of pie.

WHAT IT MEANS TO “GO ON A WALK WITH YOUR COUSINS” When the cousins ask you to go for a “walk,” just know y’all aren’t getting fresh air. That’s the pre-dessert (or meal) smoke session. Expect laughter, eye drops, and an aunt yelling when you come back smelling like outside. Return chill, eat quietly, and don’t yell “who made these ____” if you’re suddenly very hungry.

Stick to this guide and you’ll not only survive a Black Thanksgiving…you’ll be part of the tradition. Now grab a plate, say grace, and pray the aunties made peace this year (they probably didn’t, but we can hope). Happy Thanksgiving!

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The post Eat Up: The Ultimate Guide To Black Thanksgiving appeared first on MadameNoire.



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